A polar bear in a snow storm eating vanilla ice cream

I'm going to give Amy some competition. Here's the latest and greatest work of art here. I call it, "A polar bear in a snow storm eating vanilla ice cream." My canvas is the side of the house. It was neglected for way too long by the former owner of this house. We were hoping to have all of this covered by now in new fascia, soffit, drip edge, a new roof, and new spouting, but it hasn't happened. I don't want to let this old weathered wood go another winter without at least painting it. So here we go....